Truly, the Lord loveth union and harmony and abhorreth
separation and divorce.
("The Kitáb-i-Aqdas, The Most Holy Book, Bahá'u'lláh",
Haifa: Bahá'í World Centre, 1992, p. 44)
-
At all times hath union and association been well- pleasing
in the sight of God, and separation and dissension abhorred. Hold fast
unto that which God loveth and is His command unto you. He, verily, is
the All-Knowing and the All-Seeing, and He is the All-Wise Ordainer.
(Bahá'u'lláh, from a Tablet ö translated
from the Persian and Arabic)
-
God, exalted be His glory, disliketh divorce...
(Bahá'u'lláh, from a Tablet ö translated
from the Persian)
-
Thou hast asked about affection and reconciliation, in the
case of Mírzá .... This matter was mentioned in the Holy Presence.
This is what the tongue of our All-Merciful Lord uttered in response: "This
is regarded with favour and is well-pleasing. After man's recognition of
God, and becoming steadfast in His Cause, the station of affection, of
harmony, of concord and of unity is superior to that of most other goodly
deeds. This is what He Who is the Desire of the world hath testified at
every morn and eve. God grant that ye may follow that which hath been revealed
in the Kitáb-i-Aqdas."
(Bahá'u'lláh, from a Tablet ö translated
from the Persian)
II.
Extracts from the Writings of `Abdu'l-Bahá
-
O ye two believers in God! The Lord, peerless is He, hath
made woman and man to abide with each other in the closest companionship,
and to be even as a single soul. They are two helpmates, two intimate friends,
who should be concerned about the welfare of each other.
If they live thus, they will pass through this world
with perfect contentment, bliss, and peace of heart, and become the object
of divine grace and favour in the Kingdom of heaven. But if they do other
than this, they will live out their lives in great bitterness, longing
at every moment for death, and will be shamefaced in the heavenly realm.
Strive, then, to abide, heart and soul, with each other
as two doves in the nest, for this is to be blessed in both worlds.
("Selections from the Writings of `Abdu'l-Bahá"
[rev. ed.], (Haifa: Bahá'í World Centre, 1982), sec. 92,
p. 122)
-
Formerly in Persia divorce was very easily obtained. Among
the people of the past Dispensation a trifling matter would cause divorce.
However, as the light of the Kingdom shone forth, souls were quickened
by the spirit of Bahá'u'lláh, then they totally eschewed
divorce. In Persia now divorce doth not take place among the friends, unless
a compelling reason existeth which makes harmony impossible. Under such
rare circumstances some cases of divorce take place.
Now the friends in America must live and conduct themselves
in this way. They must strictly refrain from divorce unless something ariseth
which compelleth them to separate because of their aversion for each other,
in that case with the knowledge of the Spiritual Assembly they may decide
to separate. They must then be patient and wait one complete year. If during
this year, harmony is not re-established between them, then their divorce
may be realized. It should not happen that upon the occurrence of a slight
friction or displeasure between husband and wife, the husband would think
of union with some other woman, or, God forbid, the wife also think of
another husband. This is contrary to the standard of heavenly value and
true chastity. The friends of God must so live and conduct themselves,
and evince such excellence of and conduct, as to make others astonished.
The love between husband and wife should not be purely physical, nay, rather
it must be spiritual and heavenly. These two souls should be considered
as one soul. How difficult it would be to divide a single soul! Nay, great
would be the difficulty!
In short, the foundation of the Kingdom of God is based
upon harmony and love, oneness, relationship and union, not upon differences,
especially between husband and wife. If one of these two becomes the cause
of divorce, that one will unquestionably fall into great difficulties,
will become the victim of formidable calamities and experience deep remorse.
Upon you be the glory of Abhá!
(`Abdu'l-Bahá, from a Tablet ö translated from
the Persian)
III.
Extracts from Letters Written by Shoghi Effendi
-
The recrudescence of religious intolerance, of racial animosity,
and of patriotic arrogance; the increasing evidences of selfishness, of
suspicion, of fear and of fraud; the spread of terrorism, of lawlessness,
of drunkenness and of crime; the unquenchable thirst for, and the feverish
pursuit after, earthly vanities, riches and pleasures; the weakening of
family solidarity; the laxity in parental control; the lapse into luxurious
indulgence; the irresponsible attitude towards marriage and the consequent
rising tide of divorce; the degeneracy of art and music, the infection
of literature, and the corruption of the press; the extension of the influence
and activities of those "prophets of decadence" who advocate companionate
marriage, who preach the philosophy of nudism, who call modesty an intellectual
fiction, who refuse to regard the procreation of children as the sacred
and primary purpose of marriage, who denounce religion as an opiate of
the people, who would, if given free rein, lead back the human race to
barbarism, chaos, and ultimate extinction these appear as the outstanding
characteristics of a decadent society, a society that must either be reborn
or perish.
(Shoghi Effendi, "The World Order of Bahá'u'lláh:
Selected Letters" rev. ed. (Wilmette: Bahá'í Publishing Trust,
1982), pp. 187-88)
-
Not only must irreligion and its monstrous offspring, the
triple curse that oppresses the soul of mankind in this day, be held responsible
for the ills which are so tragically besetting it, but other evils and
vices, which are, for the most part, the direct consequences of the "weakening
of the pillars of religion," must also be regarded as contributory factors
to the manifold guilt of which individuals and nations stand convicted.
The signs of moral downfall, consequent to the dethronement of religion
and the enthronement of these usurping idols, are too numerous and too
patent for even a superficial observer of the state of present-day society
to fail to notice. The spread of lawlessness, of drunkenness, of gambling,
and of crime; the inordinate love of pleasure, of riches, and other earthly
vanities; the laxity in morals, revealing itself in the irresponsible attitude
towards marriage, in the weakening of parental control, in the rising tide
of divorce, in the deterioration in the standard of literature and of the
press, and in the advocacy of theories that are the very negation of purity,
of morality and chastity these evidences of moral decadence, invading
both the East and the West, permeating every stratum of society, and instilling
their poison in its members of both sexes, young and old alike, blacken
still further the scroll upon which are inscribed the manifold transgressions
of an unrepentant humanity.
(Shoghi Effendi, "The Promised Day is Come", rev.
ed. (Wilmette: Bahá'í Publishing Trust, 1980), pp. 114-15)
IV.
Extracts from Letters Written on Behalf of Shoghi Effendi
-
On behalf of the Guardian I wish to acknowledge the receipt
of your letter dated December 15th, and to express his sorrow at the disharmony
existing between you and your husband. He is the more grieved to learn
that the situation has reached such a state as to compel you to ask for
separation from Mr.... a step which, though legally valid from the standpoint
of the Cause, is nevertheless most sad and painful to you and to those
concerned.
The Guardian, however, appreciates the fact that,
in conformity with the Teachings, you have laid the matter before the Local
Spiritual Assembly. He sincerely hopes that under the guidance of that
body, and through your own efforts as well, conditions between you and
your husband will gradually improve, and that you will not feel it necessary
to ask for divorce after the one year period of separation has been terminated.
He is fervently entreating Bahá'u'lláh that
He may guide you and Mr. Clark in solving this most delicate problem of
your life, and that the solution reached may be such as to bring peace
and satisfaction to your heart, and thus bring happiness to you, and also
protection to the Cause whose interests you have so devotedly served for
many years.
(In a letter written on behalf of Shoghi Effendi, 14
January 1936 to an individual believer)
-
Regarding the Bahá'í teachings on divorce.
While the latter has been made permissible by Bahá'u'lláh
yet he has strongly discouraged its practice, for if not checked and seriously
controlled it leads gradually to the disruption of family life and to the
disintegration of society....
(In a letter written on behalf of Shoghi Effendi,
16 November 1936 to an individual believer)
-
Regarding divorce, the Guardian stated that it is discouraged,
deprecated and against the good pleasure of God. The Assembly must circulate
among the friends whatever has been revealed from the Pen of `Abdu'l-Bahá
in this connection so that all may be fully reminded. Divorce is conditional
upon the approval and permission of the Spiritual Assembly. The members
of the Assembly must in such matters independently and carefully study
and investigate each case. If there should be valid grounds for divorce
and it is found that reconciliation is utterly impossible, that antipathy
is intense and its removal is not possible, then the Assembly may approve
the divorce.
(Shoghi Effendi, from a Tablet to the National
Spiritual Assembly of Iran ö translated from the Persian)
-
While he wishes me to assure you that he will pray for the
solution of your domestic troubles, he would urge you to endeavour, by
every means in your power, to compose your differences, and not to allow
them to reach such proportions as to lead to your complete and final separation
from your husband.
For while, according to the Bahá'í law,
divorce is permissible, yet it is highly discouraged, and should be resorted
to only when every effort to prevent it has proved to be vain and ineffective.
It is for you, and for Mr.... as well, to ponder carefully
over the spiritual implications which any act of divorce on either part
would involve, and strengthened by the power of faith and confident in
the blessings which strict adherence to the principles and laws of Bahá'u'lláh
is bound to confer upon every one of His faithful followers, to make a
fresh resolve to solve your common difficulties and to restore the harmony,
peace and happiness of your family life.
(In a letter written on behalf of Shoghi Effendi, 11
September 1938 to an individual believer)
-
The situation facing you is admittedly difficult and delicate,
but no less grave and indeed vital are the responsibilities which it entails
and which, as a faithful and loyal believer, you should conscientiously
and thoroughly assume. The Guardian, therefore, while fully alive to the
special circumstances of your case, and however profound his sympathy may
be for you in this challenging issue with which you are so sadly faced,
cannot, in view of the emphatic injunctions contained in the Teachings,
either sanction your demand to contract a second marriage while your first
wife is still alive and is united with you in the sacred bonds of matrimony,
or even suggest or approve that you divorce her just in order to be permitted
to marry a new one.
For the Bahá'í Teachings do not only
preclude the possibility of bigamy, but also, while permitting divorce,
consider it a reprehensible act, which should be resorted to only in exceptional
circumstances, and when grave issues are involved, transcending such considerations
as physical attraction or sexual compatibility and harmony. The institution
of marriage, as established by Bahá'u'lláh, while giving
due importance to the physical aspect of marital union, considers it as
subordinate to the moral and spiritual purposes and functions with which
it has been invested by an all-wise and loving Providence. Only when these
different values are given each their due importance, and only on the basis
of the subordination of the physical to the moral, and the carnal to the
spiritual can such excesses and laxity in marital relations as our decadent
age is so sadly witnessing be avoided, and family life be restored to its
original purity, and fulfil the true function for which it has been instituted
by God.
The Guardian will most fervently pray that, inspired and
guided by such a divine standard, and strengthened by Bahá'u'lláh's
unfailing assistance and confirmations, you may be able to satisfactorily
adjust your relations with the persons concerned, and thus reach the one
right solution to this assuredly challenging problem of your life.
(In a letter written on behalf of Shoghi Effendi, 8
May 1939 to an individual believer who, having married his first wife out
of compassion, now wished to be permitted to marry a woman with whom he
had fallen in love, saying that his wife was agreeable to his taking this
second wife.)
-
As regards the action you contemplate in seeking divorce
from him: He leaves the final decision in this matter to you and your husband,
though of course, from the standpoint of the Cause, he thinks it preferable
for you both not to resort to such drastic action, unless it is absolutely
unavoidable.
(In a letter written on behalf of Shoghi Effendi,
24 February 1940 to an individual believer)
-
Marriage is, in the "Aqdas", set forth as a most sacred and
binding tie, and the Bahá'ís should realize that divorce
is viewed as a last resort, to be avoided at all costs if possible and
not to be lightly granted.
(In a letter written on behalf of Shoghi Effendi,
17 October 1944 to an individual believer)
-
Marriage is viewed by Bahá'u'lláh as a very
sacred tie which should under no circumstances be severed unless the reasons
are very grave. He hopes and will pray that you and your wife, as believers,
will reconsider this matter and do your utmost to live together in the
service of the Cause you both love so dearly.
(In a letter written on behalf of Shoghi Effendi,
17 October 1944 to an individual believer)
-
He was very sorry to hear that you and your husband are still
so unhappy together. It is always a source of sorrow in life when married
people cannot get on well together, but the Guardian feels that you and
your husband, in contemplating divorce, should think of the future of your
children and how this major step on your part will influence their lives
and happiness.
If you feel the need of advice and consultation he
suggests you consult your Local Assembly; your fellow Bahá'ís
will surely do all they can to counsel and help you, protect your interests
and those of the Cause.
(In a letter written on behalf of Shoghi Effendi, 16
November 1945 to an individual believer)
-
Shoghi Effendi wishes me to add this note in connection with
your marriage: he does not feel that any believer, under any circumstances
whatsoever, can ever use the Cause or service to it as a reason for abandoning
their marriage; divorce, as we know, is very strongly condemned by Bahá'u'lláh,
and only grounds of extreme gravity justify it....
(In a letter written on behalf of Shoghi Effendi,
7 April 1947 to an individual believer)
-
As Bahá'u'lláh was so very much against divorce
(even though He permits it) and considered marriage a most sacred responsibility,
believers should do everything in their power to preserve the marriages
they have contracted, and to make of them exemplary unions, governed by
the noblest motives.
(In a letter written on behalf of Shoghi Effendi,
19 October 1947 to an individual believer)
-
Bahá'u'lláh has clearly stated the consent
of all living parents is required for a Bahá'í marriage.
This applies whether the parents are Bahá'ís or non-Bahá'ís,
divorced for years or not. This great law He has laid down to strengthen
the social fabric, to knit closer the ties of the home, to place a certain
gratitude and respect in the hearts of children for those who have given
them life and sent their souls out on the eternal journey towards their
Creator. We Bahá'ís must realize that in present-day society
the exact opposite process is taking place: young people care less and
less for their parents' wishes, divorce is considered a natural right,
and obtained on the flimsiest and most unwarrantable and shabby pretexts.
People separated from each other, especially if one of them has had full
custody of the children, are only too willing to belittle the importance
of the partner in marriage also responsible as a parent for bringing those
children into this world. The Bahá'ís must, through rigid
adherence to the Bahá'í laws and teachings, combat these
corrosive forces which are so rapidly destroying home life and the beauty
of family relationships, and tearing down the moral structure of society.
(In a letter written on behalf of Shoghi Effendi,
25 October 1947 to the National Spiritual Assembly of the United States
and Canada)
-
He wishes me to tell you that he regrets extremely the sorrow
that has come into your life, and that he agrees with all you have stated
in general on the subject of divorce.
There is no doubt about it that the believers in America,
probably unconsciously influenced by the extremely lax morals prevalent
and the flippant attitude towards divorce which seems to be increasingly
prevailing, do not take divorce seriously enough and do not seem to grasp
the fact that although Bahá'u'lláh has permitted it, He has
only permitted it as a last resort and strongly condemns it.
The presence of children, as a factor in divorce, cannot
be ignored, for surely it places an even greater weight of moral responsibility
on the man and wife in considering such a step. Divorce under such circumstances
no longer just concerns them and their desires and feelings but also concerns
the children's entire future and their own attitude towards marriage.
(In a letter written on behalf of Shoghi Effendi, 19
December 1947 to an individual believer)
-
Divorce should be avoided most strictly by the believers,
and only under rare and urgent circumstances be resorted to. Modern society
is criminally lax as to the sacred nature of marriage, and the believers
must combat this trend assiduously.
(In a letter written on behalf of Shoghi Effendi,
5 January 1948 to an individual believer)
-
He will pray for your husband and son and your daughter-in-law,
that, through drawing near to Bahá'u'lláh, they may be united
and uplifted into a happier and more harmonious atmosphere, for the Cause
can heal friction if people will let it and make the effort themselves
as well.
(In a letter written on behalf of Shoghi Effendi,
11 June 1948 to an individual believer)
-
He was very sorry to hear that you are contemplating separation
from your husband. As you no doubt know, Bahá'u'lláh considers
the marriage bond very sacred; and only under very exceptional and unbearable
circumstances is divorce advisable for Bahá'ís.
The Guardian does not tell you that you must not divorce
your husband; but he does urge you to consider prayerfully, not only because
you are a believer and anxious to obey the laws of God, but also for the
sake of the happiness of your children, whether it is not possible for
you to rise above the limitations you have felt in your marriage hitherto,
and make a go of it together.
We often feel that our happiness lies in a certain direction;
and yet, if we have to pay too heavy a price for it in the end we may discover
that we have not really purchased either freedom or happiness, but just
some new situation of frustration and disillusion.
(In a letter written on behalf of Shoghi Effendi, 5
April 1951 to an individual believer)
-
As regards the problem of your marriage, you are free to
refer this to the National Spiritual Assembly. As both you and your wife
know, however, Bahá'u'lláh was not in favour of divorce,
and the friends should make every effort to avoid bringing it about. If
it is absolutely impossible, they then are free to divorce, but they should
bear in mind the will of God in such matters.
(In a letter written on behalf of Shoghi Effendi,
13 March 1953 to an individual believer)
-
He has been very sorry to hear that your marriage seems to
have failed utterly. I need not tell you as a Bahá'í that
every effort should be made by any Bahá'í to salvage their
marriage for the sake of God, rather than for their own sake. In the case
of pioneers, it is even more important, because they are before the public
eye. However, in such matters it is neither befitting nor right that the
Guardian should bring pressure on individuals. He can only appeal to you
and...to try again; but if you cannot rise to this test, that is naturally
a personal matter.
(In a letter written on behalf of Shoghi Effendi,
13 January 1956 to an individual believer)
-
Wherever there is a Bahá'í family, those concerned
should by all means do all they can to preserve it, because divorce is
strongly condemned in the Teachings, whereas harmony, unity and love are
held up as the highest ideals in human relationships. This must always
apply to the Bahá'ís, whether they are serving in the pioneering
field or not.
